touche

It’s not constituted as drinking alone if I’m in a bar with other people, right? I may not know any of them but I did have quite a friendly chat with my server.

Currently I’m waiting for an audition. I have the habit of arriving obscenely early, by like, an hour.

Today I had to resign/give up/quit my job at The Independent. As I am not enrolled at Clark College for at least six credits I am unable to be paid for my work and unless I work for free I am unable to hold my position.

So here I am now, somewhat in the same place I was when I began there. Drinking alone in a bar and wondering what the hell I’m going to do.

Now when I say drinking, I mean … I’m having a martini and I just ate dinner. I’m not curled up in my corner swigging off a vodka bottle. That’s tomorrow night.

In more encouraging news I have realized my full love and appreciation for Mickey Avalon and have henceforth decided to listen to him nonstop throughout my day. The mix shall only be broken with the exceptions of  (an) Orgy and Aesop Rock.

So I just hit “send” to my … initial feeler e-mail to The Vanguard. Who knows how that will go. If all else fails I’ll just … well I don’t know what I’ll do.

1 upped

I consider myself an honest and blunt person. All this aside, tonight I was truly caught of guard. Full on, speechless to something that my friend said to me.

In more eloquent terms, he asked me what my intentions were. I fell silent. What is this? Someone that … that, says exactly what they’re thinking regardless that by doing so, he might have repelled me?

Once I recovered from the shock, I realized how refreshingly attractive it was.

Like most people, I have those close friends that tell me the truth – even if I don’t want to know it. If I look really terrible one day, or I am being stupid – they’ll tell me. But to find someone that … that says exactly what they’re feeling? Priceless. Someone that won’t accept my bullshitting and how I avoid talking about things.

I learned a few years ago that role models and heroes are easy to come by. Respect on the other hand – is not.

So here’s to you my dear,

too soon?

It’s always been comical to me that some people associate sleeping together with dating. Of course, most often these are the people that 1. believe you have to love someone to have sex with them 2. the type of people that end up cheating on their spouse because they waited till they were married to have sex or 3. don’t have sex.

You know what I say to people like this?

sail away

willamette mansion

I was working on the Spirit yesterday and we sailed past this house. A girl that was working next to me told me that the owner killed himself and the house has never been occupied. I think it’s the most beautiful and ostentatious piece of architecture I’ve ever seen in person.

Now my life will basically be complete if I get to explore this place…

accepted

I’m officially a Viking.

found: one black purse. no ID.

Step 1. Invite guests of a classy nature. We wouldn’t anyone pocketing an ash tray or vase would we?

2. Mingle among guests. A lonely guest tends to drink more to avoid social anxiety!

3. Excessive drinking can lead to violence or other unwanted behavior.

4. Make an effort to understand your guests wants and needs.

5. Clearly inform guests of powder rooms when they are feeling less then 100%

6. Always keep the cocktail napkins freshly stocked in case of mishaps!

graphic display

I’ve come to the conclusion that while Clark has done quite a few great things for me (1. theatre and 2. helped me discover what I want to do for a living) it’s time to really just say, fuck off.

I’m planning a peaceful demonstration (not a protest, that sounds angry and like we’re going to set things on fire. which we are NOT) in the coming week or so, and honestly – I need support (aka living breathing bodies/people.)

I can’t promise you anything, there won’t be alcohol … there probably won’t be hot girls (Unless Jessi or Qurynn come…lol) but I’ll bring fruit roll ups! Perhaps rolls? Like bread … you know, like Jesus ate.

The day of I’ll update my status and let everyone know, but yea …

Basically, I just need everyone I’ve ever slept with to show up … that will literally at least double the required amount of people we need … kidding. sort of … but really, don’t suck at life and show up for me. Otherwise I will find out where you live, if I don’t already know, and lurk outside your home.

… you know I’ll do it. I’m creepy… and my friend Lynzee? She’s GREAT with internet stalking people to find out anything I don’t already know…

So show up.

it’s called an homage, sir

I know I’ve written about Anderson Cooper before, how could I not? So here’s to the older men of the world … (past the mid-life crisis stage)

doodle

“The is great pain behind comedy,” hearing a friend say this on the radio really had an impact on me.

It wasn’t until I heard her say this and thought about it for a few days that I began to understand what she meant. My life hasn’t been hard, but it also hasn’t been easy. I’m a middle class Caucasian female whose parents are still together despite their constant dislike for one another. Technically I am the middle child, but currently I’m the older one. My older brother, from my Dad’s first two marriages (to the same woman) is 11 years older then me. My other brother, from my Dad’s third marriage (to my mom) is four years younger.

In eighth grade a kid named Jeremy asked me why I thought I was better then everyone else, I responded simply, “because I am.” It was also that year that classmates told me that I was too serious and I needed to “chill out”. I was the girl that people only spoke to so they could copy off my homework. I was slightly overweight and had yet to discover tweezers.

Since childhood, adults had (tense is important here) told me that I was a little grown up, far more mature then my age. Honestly, I think it was more that my mother had taught me manners and old fashioned southern etiquette.

Something happened in the summer between eighth grade and freshman year of high school. Whether it was my best friend, Blink 182’s music, maybe it was the cutting of hair and the new clothes (though equally terrible in their own right.) Ever since then, I’ve never been the same person. There are glimmers of the serious child that preferred reading alone for hours on end now in me … sometimes I take great comfort in sitting alone and escaping through fictional characters.

Everyday I wake up I hope that something interesting will happen. Interesting is a very vague and broad term and in this case I am very thankful for that leeway. What most people consider interesting is something peculiar or unusual … while I on the other hand, consider anything to be interesting in some form/fashion.

dr. jones

I just come to the conclusion I possibly have an unknown mental illness. I had not realized the extent of it until just a moment ago. For some strange reason I have the uncanny ability to find and like people that are similar to television personalities/characters that I enjoy.

Who does this? This can’t be natural … or healthy?

Then again, I base all relationships off of Rhett & Scarlett’s since that was my first real exposure to romance. Hm…