P7

•07.20.2009 • Leave a Comment

I recently received my first phone number as a server and saw cocaine on the back of a toilet seat — all in one night.

The patio was technically closed though it did not discourage two gentleman probably in their late 40s from seating themselves. Displeased by the club atmosphere upstairs they opted for something more quiet and laid back.

Drinks in hand they sat themselves down and proceeded to talk and laugh obnoxiously loud for quite awhile. It was from the older of the two that I would get my very first phone number.

As the night wore on two of their friends sat down to join them. One with eyebrows so manicured and dark it looked like he applied them with a sharpie marker.

The second man embodied, in modern clothing, everything I would have imagined a man being like in the 1600s French court.

After a few rounds of drinks they lacked any class or volume control and any sense of tact.

Besides the frequent “compliments” and invitations to their homes for the evening I learned that it’s males like this that give the rest of the sex a bad name.

Yes, they tipped sufficiently, even generously but was the money worth the constant harassment about whether my chest was real?

No. I’m sorry, my price is far higher than that.

More-over the whole affair solidified my resolve in never becoming a call girl, despite my recent obsession with Diary of a Call-girl.

If these are the men with money, I’ll graciously decline and work harder to make my own.

I will add that supposedly the one who gave me his phone number, was very well-endowed. At least according to his friends…

Worst of all, the largest of the fellows … the most lewd and drunk? I believe the Marquis De Sade probably resembled him in real life. Alas, I refuse to picture him as anything less than fantastically handsome like the great Geoffrey Rush.

check please

•07.17.2009 • Leave a Comment

i love being a server. perhaps i was an actual servant in another life? doubtful, i’d surely have been put to death far before i learned to like it.

today i really realized that perhaps, i have a knack for making people laugh … especially slightly drunk ones. not that this is hard … but convincing them that i’m not a total asshole at the same time … i feel maybe a little hard?

whatever. it made me feel a little bit … valuable. then again after spilling a full water glass down my shirt, breaking a glass, not knowing the difference between tonic and soda … of course in the end the guy wouldn’t have known if he was drinking water. not the point.

over-all… today was the hardest i’ve worked in … i don’t even know how long. i feel good.

it’s so depressing to know that i could never survive being truly lazy.

this proves it, i come from a working class sort of people. obviously first off because i’m irish (haha) and second off, i would have died to royal boredom!

kissing with tongue

•07.14.2009 • Leave a Comment

Just watched disc 1 of season 1 of Secret Diary of a Call Girl and I’m in love with Hannah/Belle. She’s a glorious character and I can’t wait to watch the next disc.

Billie Piper isn’t frighteningly perfect looking either. She’s stunning, obviously, but in an approachable and genuine way.

The other night when I went to rent Dexter and was unable to because apparently our Blockbuster membership had run out? So after tearfully placing Dexter on the counter and leaving I rushed to Hollywood Video to hear that they don’t carry Dexter. I don’t know if this is as a whole or if it was just the store? That is how I haphazardly discovered Hannah/Belle.

One of my ex-boyfriend’s once said that he was a great boyfriend in the beginning but that after awhile he was a crap one. That for like two weeks to a month everything would be grand but after wards, for whatever reason it wasn’t going to be great. Strangely enough he was right.

[Side note: To this day I consider him a fantastic person and friend]

There’s a newer movie out, The Girlfriend Experience. I didn’t exactly grasp the concept until watching episode three. In it, Hannah/Belle explains that for a day (week/month) or so she is a lovely girlfriend but inevitably it ends an awful mess.

I feel a strange connection with this. Not being a call girl, I’m not nearly secretive enough, but the whole ending up a shit girlfriend.

To be honest, I’m far too independent to ever want to depend on someone else and letting people in makes me want to shoot myself. This along with a whole slew of other reasons … being selfish, lacking proper emotional reactions and fearing commitment like the swine flu.

Actually that last one is a terrible comparison, I fear commitment like I feared having my arm amputated.

So, a fuck lot.

good is subjective

•07.07.2009 • Leave a Comment

Blair Waldorf has never been one to shy away from the spot light, but one must remember… Upward angles are rarely flattering. My my B, what were you thinking?

Then again, how reliable can a story be when they can’t even spell her name right? Besides, isn’t there that theory that everyone in the world has a twin?

Whatever the truth is, I’ll still love you Blair. You’re gorgeous, classy and who doesn’t want “a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets,” ?

… she is, in her own way, as damaged as me

•07.06.2009 • Leave a Comment

Laying in bed wearing my new work shoes (black FERGIE heels), I’m trying to break them in … I’m doing a crap job obviously as I just finished Saw V.

I have to admit, I’m not as disappointed as I was with all the others (with the exception of one which I remember watching for the first time as illegal download Ryan had, so it was grainy and terrible quality which I feel added to its… epic glory)

From my brief research it appears another Hostel movie will be released (ideally) in 2010 by Eli Roth. Also coming out in the future is Boonedock Saints II, which I am very worried and apprehensive about.

My worst fear is it’s going to be like, American Psycho and then American Psycho 2.

Speaking of death, blood and gore … DEXTER is my newest love. What can I say there’s something ever so charming about him.

Now if only they made more movies like say, The Lodger. You know starring Simon Baker — he’s too adorable.

Wait, more brief searching reveals a new movie slated for 2010, The Killer Inside me. Then again, Jessica Alba and Kate Hudson are in it … so how great can it be?

Sorry Alba, you’re gorgeous yes … but watching you act makes me wish I would choke on an olive and die … mid martini.

work in progress

•07.01.2009 • Leave a Comment

People in general are somewhat taken aback by my unconventional views of love and sex. I don’t believe you need to be in love to have sex and I don’t believe you have to have sex if you’re in love.

In modern day America, sex is used to sell everything. Toilet paper. Cake mix. Motor oil.

Despite the fact that we preach to only have sex when you’re in love or married, we as a society, fill our media with images to titillate the senses.

Even more frustrating is our inability to openly admit our arousal for fear of  (public) shame and ridicule. Look but don’t touch.

For whatever reason, Americans are permanently stuck in this “Eve inspired situation” in which if you should take a bite of the apple, you will be cast out as a pervert or a deviant.

The desire to have sex (or procreate) is a carnal desire, a primal instinct.

”’Sex’ is as important as eating or drinking and we ought to allow the one appetite to be satisfied with as little restraint or false modesty as the other.” – Marquis De Sade

Words like “slut” and “whore” are used to degrade those who give into this cravings. Heaven help a woman who may enjoy the pleasures of the bedroom, she is not to be trusted.

What baffles me even more so are the highly prized concepts of marriage and monogamy. Laws created by man that defy the basic rules of nature.

… Recently while speaking to a friend I mentioned the phrase I may get as my second tattoo. He was not offended, but suggested I truly consider it to the fullest extent.

“The idea of God is the sole wrong for which I cannot forgive mankind” – Marquis De Sade

It was after a brief pause that he then said it would be no different then someone getting a tattoo of a cross.

To be clear, it is not religion that I despise. I believe the idea is wonderful and fanciful, and that the majority of the population needs to believe they really aren’t alone … because the truth that they don’t matter is a hard realization.

Religion is more often then not, abused. The longest running “get out of jail free card”,  I find it just as ridiculous as the Twinkie defense.

mode

•06.27.2009 • Leave a Comment

It’s hard to wake up
When the shades have been pulled shut
This house is haunted
It’s so pathetic
It makes no sense at all.
I’m ripe with things to say
The words rot and fall away.
If a stupid poem could fix this home
I’d read it every day.

So here’s your holiday
Hope you enjoy it this time
You gave it all away
It was mine
So when you’re dead and gone
Will you remember this night, twenty years now lost.
It’s not right

Their anger hurts my ears
Been running strong for seven years
Rather than fix the problems, they never solve them
It makes no sense at all
I see them every day
We get along so why can’t they?
If this is what he wants and this is what
she wants
Then why is there so much pain?

So here’s your holiday
Hope you enjoy it this time
You gave it all away
It was mine
So when you’re dead and gone
Will you remember this night, twenty years now lost
It’s not right

So here’s your holiday
Hope you enjoy it this time
You gave it all away
It was mine
So when you’re dead and gone
Will you remember this night, twenty years now lost

It’s not right

It’s not right

It’s not right

It’s not right

sþel£¡ng B€e

•06.26.2009 • Leave a Comment

Since no one actually uses Webster for anything other than a coffee table decoration anymore, I’d like to take the time to compliment the way Urban Dictionary has changed the thoughts and opinions of our generation (for this purpose I will paste the number one selection.)

1. Free Speech: Nothing more than an illusion

2. Communist: How old people in Alabama and possibly in other Southern states insult younger people.

3. Propaganda: When a government says one thing to intentionally get the public to believe something that is mostly lies.

4. Religion: The biggest lie in human history. It has been responsible for more deaths throughout human history than all other unnatural causes combined. For a thousand years the Church was a tyrannical dictatorship that used religion to control the uneducated masses. Free your minds and come into the 21st century

5. Violence: The effective answer to everything

mute

•06.21.2009 • Leave a Comment

I am not a nice person. It’s late at night, I’m very tired and I have tried countless times to prove my case.

Despite all outward images portrayed, I am an asshole. I often treat people poorly and if you fail at impressing me, I despise you.

Sure, I like people before I dislike them. Innocent until proven guilty … blah blah blah.

Moreover I just wish that … people need to understand Evan’s a saint. The shit he puts up with… he’s way better a person than I.

I’m possibly the worst person to ever be in a relationship with. To which, I apoligize to anyone I have previously dated as I’m sure I was a nightmare.

Speaking of said things … Terran keeps having sex dreams. That crazy kid. I adore him.

Also, since losing my voice I feel perhaps I listen more? I’ve only not really had it for a day or two. I suppose though it’s nature’s way of telling me to think before I speak.

All I need is a little chalk board around my neck, very … trumpet of the swans. I love that book. I read it over and over …

Sleep time. Surely though I’ll be sleeping in the car on the adventure tomorrow. Maybe I’ll take a movie and watch it in the car? epic. fantastic. genius!

photo op

•06.18.2009 • 1 Comment

Hugh has three new lovely ladies, two of whom are 19 year old twins. After a simple search I found before and after photos of the girls.

 

Before Hugh

Before Hugh

 

After Hugh

After Hugh

My mom suggested I check out 10 (1979). I’m going to admit, if I had the chance to have tons of plastic surgery and be make-over … I would hesitate to say no. At least I’m honest though.

Sure I wouldn’t turn down the personal trainer, the liposuction, the amazing hair. I guess though, despite the flaws I rather like my face. It’s not perfect looking, it’s not 90210 pretty… but it’s me.

Photo 14